IMPROVE YOUR LIFEHow To Improve Your Personal Life With Self-Improvement

Why do we need goals? We need them so that we know where we want to go towards, right? Without goals, we are basically wandering around in the darkness hoping that we reach the right place. But, we also use goals as a motivational tool to give us that boost of energy to work towards them.

If you ask any motivational speaker, one of the key points they will tell you to achieve success is to write down your goals. Well, that’s not the whole story though. Just writing them down doesn’t give you that energy boost that you need to achieve success but I’ll tell you my secret to goal setting.

First, you have to start dreaming again and not the dreams that you have when you sleep at night, but the dreams that you had when you were kids like, “I wanna live in a mansion when I grow up.” Don’t be afraid to dream big because odds are, if you dream big but only reach half way, that’s still half way farther than if you didn’t dream at all.

Ok, so let’s talk about your mansion. Just writing down a mansion in your Goals list isn’t enough. Write down details. What kind of architecture would it be? Would it be a fairy tale type of castle? Would it be an Italian Villa? How many bedrooms? What about an indoor pool?

Another secret to goal setting is to find images of some of the things you want so that you can picture them clearly in your mind. It gives your goals a sense of realism than if you were to just think about the word “mansion.” Find some pictures of Italian Villas or indoor pools or whatever it is that you want and just imagine yourself in there.

For me, I’m a car guy so I’ve got a few cars on my list. Right now, I drive a BMW M3 but that’s not enough. Like I said, you have to dream big if you want to hit it big so I’ve got Porches, more BMWs, and even Ferraris on my list. I’ve saved images of these cars onto my computer and even set a couple of them as my desktop images on both my monitors. I know the colors I want and all the options that each car provides. It makes it much more real when you get down to the details.

So, you can start with making a list of your goals but you need to go farther. Get into the details. Find images. Picture yourself owning those items already. Doing this will only help you in whatever venture you choose to go with.

Goals ? we have a love-hate relationship with goals. We love them because they are such a great idea and are a superb way to motivate us to achieve and then to evaluate our progress; but we hate them, because for much of the time, they go unattained and simply frustrate us. This isn’t what goals should do!

Having been a Life Coach for many years now I would like to suggest some straightforward and practical techniques on how you can set goals you can achieve! After all, what good is a goal if it isn’t something you can achieve?

? Life Coach tip no 1 – You have to want it!

Firstly – do not bother to set goals for things you don’t really want. For example: if your partner says they want you to quit smoking or lose weight but you do not want to, why even bother setting this as a goal. If your goal(s) are not something you personally want to accomplish, and they are not relevant to you, you are unlikely to succeed ? because deep down you don’t really want to.

State your goals in a positive way ? a goal should always be something you want to have, or change. Not things you or someone else think you should.

Always ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being totally committed and 1 being zero commitment. How committed are you to reaching your goal? If it is less than 8, you might want to reconsider the goal.

? Life Coach tip no 2 – Focus

Start small. Pick two or three areas that you want to work on. Too many people say to themselves, “I want to do this, and this, and this, and this??” and they end up achieving nothing! Most of what you do throughout your day can be done without a lot of mental effort, but change isn’t one of them. So try to keep your focus down to a couple of things. This way you can get success in your identified areas. Here are some aspects of your life you might like to think about: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Spiritual, Financial, and Relationships. Now, which is the first thing on your list? The others can follow later, but for now, you should focus on two or three, no more.

? Life Coach tip no 3 – Goals – the long and the short

So you want to lose 50 pounds? Good. Long-term you will. But for now, think short-term. Don’t think about losing 50 pounds by February. Think about losing 10 pounds by October 1st.

This does two things. First, it makes it pressing and urgent. Instead of saying, “I still have 6 months to lose the 50 pounds” (6 months quickly disappears into 2 months, into one month ? with the 50 pounds still securely in place!) your first goal is only a few weeks away, so you have to get started. This is far more successful in terms of reaching your goal. Secondly, as you reach these smaller goals (your mini-milestones!), you achieve a success, which gives you regular motivation and encouragement to keep going.

? Life Coach tip no 4 – Make it manageable

Instead of saying, “I am going to quit my 20 smoking a day habit straight off” change this to: “I am going to smoke no more than 15 a day for a week, then 10 the next week and so on.” Give yourself small victories a little at a time. It is far easier to accomplish many smaller goals that make up a large goal ? rather than trying for the large goal straight off!

? Life Coach tip no 5 – Reward yourself along the way

When you lose the 10 pounds by October 1st, go and order yourself large mocha with cream from Costa’s (just the one though!), then get back to your goal for November 1st. This puts a little fun back into the process of self-control and self-discipline. You will look forward to and enjoy the reward and when the going gets tough, you will say things like, “two weeks to go, and only two more pounds to lose” etc ? I can do it, then I can enjoy my mocha guilt free!

? Life Coach tip no 6 – Be specific with your timeline

Don’t just say, “I am going to lose 10 pounds.” Say, “I am going to lose 10 pounds by December 1st.” This way, when you start being tempted into Thornton’s Chocolates in the middle of November – under the guise of buying early Christmas presents for other people, you can say, “No way, only 5 more pounds to go in three weeks and I am not going to blow it now.”

? Life Coach tip no 7 – Post it where you can see it

Keep your goal in the front of your mind at all times. Instead of allowing yourself to ‘forget’ that you are trying to lose weight by ordering a big slice of cheesecake, your visual reminder will help you to choose something a little on the lighter side but at the same time keeping on track ? having your cake and eating it! This will help you beat your desire and stay focused.

Post your goal anywhere you will see it regularly, like maybe the fridge or a mirror, on your wardrobe door ? you know where is best, you must be able to see it regularly throughout the day.

? Life Coach tip no 8 – Encourage, respect, and accountability

Explain to a friend or family member what your goal is, including the timeframe, so they can help you with it.

This person should regularly ask you, how you are doing etc? They should hold you accountable, but at the same time keep you motivated and encouraged. Obviously they must be the encouraging type! (If not, ask someone else who is) If you are blowing it, they can tell you so, but at the same time gee you up and say things like “Well, that’s okay, it’s done now, don’t sweat it, just get back to it tomorrow.” If you are doing well, they can say, “excellent, well done etc” and make you feel great.

? Life Coach tip no 9 – Write (and then reap) the benefits

If you are trying to lose weight your benefits might look something like this: Feel better, better self-esteem, longer life, clothes are more comfortable, a bigger choice of clothes shops to shop it, your husband says you look 25 again and so on. For quitting smoking, it may look like this: Fresher breath, no more brown fingers, less wrinkles on my face, no more red eyes, no more smelly clothes, longer life, and the wife won’t make me spend two hours a day on the back porch in the pouring rain anymore! By making a list you will be able to you see what you will benefit from accomplishing your goal.

Again it is a good idea once you have thought of these benefits to write them down with your goal (On the fridge, mirror etc) so that when you review your goal everyday, you’ll also see the benefits to achieving it.

? Life Coach tip no 10 – You have succeeded ? reward yourself!

This can be anything ? large or small. If you dropped the fifty pounds, really treat yourself, plan to go out and buy yourself that size 12 dress you have always longed for ? and then wear it with pride.

Make a deal with a partner or friend that if you reach your goal they will take you out for a meal or and spoil you.

Whatever it is you plan, make it personal, enjoyable and desirable to you, so you will look forward to it.

Do not miss this part out ? it is one of the most important bits. It will help to keep you motivated when you’re struggling and give you something enjoyable to aim for.

Make sure you reward yourself for all your hard work!

Remember folks ? goals aren’t just for footballers! They are for us real people too!

What are your goals and dreams? What do you aspire to or hope for? Goals help turn these “wishes” into reality. You can have what you desire with some planning and that is what goal setting is all about. Goal setting gives you the necessary confidence you need to know that you can have …

Continued here:
Dust Off Your Dreams

Recognize the source and purpose of vision. It’s purpose is to be shared with all those around us.

Living life based purely on our own personal needs is really living life at the most primitive level. It makes no allowance for the wonder of investing into our fellow humans beings and the generations yet to come. The inheritance we leave behind is the materials that another generation will build upon. One of the reasons I love writing, is it is my personal investment to those who find my life helpful to theirs. The thought that someone one hundred years from now may glimpse my life and evaluate my thoughts, both excites me and empowers me to write more. A selfless life is committed to investing beyond our own needs and into the needs of another.

Not wishful thinking or a good idea it is “supernatural”

If everyone planned their life as a result of their vision for it, we would call that common sense or just the natural process of living. The truth is, not everyone lives their life according to the ultimate purpose for which life is lived. Most people live life from one circumstance to another and plan in the midst of this process.

Living life with purpose and intent, or according to our destiny is supernatural. It goes beyond the natural approach to living, by taking responsibility for the decisions we are to make ahead of time. At this level of living we move beyond the norm and venture into the supernatural. Wishful thinking is really living life in a knee jerk fashion. Vision is all about purposeful living. Fashioning our daily lives according to the blue print, which we have seen ahead of time. Visionaries do not live their life by “chance”, they live their life out of purposeful action.

Vision is not contrary to our creators will

Regardless of our spiritual persuasion, we need to accept that we are designed for greatness. Heaven and earth conspire to create a quality of life, which goes beyond temporal living. Living life at its poorest form is ignorance and at its greatest level, enlightenment. Life lived at a quality of total awareness, is a life lived with extreme potential. Vision is available to every person on earth. Poverty of imagination is poverty at it’s worst. As our mind begins to dream of potential, our will begins to change towards the probabilities of what can be.

As we each take up our personal responsibility to dream on a level beyond the natural, we enter in to a dimension of creativity. Creativity is the gift that we were all born with, but circumstances conspire to rob us of the initiative to birth the seed of creativity. The will of our creator is to empower each one of us with the same creative capacity.

Not based on abilities and talents, though we may use them positively or negatively

Poverty of spirit is the main reason why many of us live it what could have been, rather than what can be. When we excuse our lack of achievement on our lack of provision, we exclude ourselves from the power of creativity. One only needs to travel into less affluent Nations to recognize the creative genius that appears as a result of need. Resources may well be in poor supply, but invention and creativity is never an orphan.

Starting where we are at is a fundamental philosophy to success. If we are waiting for all we need before we start we will never start. The hidden inertia that compels vision forward is initiative. Resources and provision are drawn to those who live by vision, and the momentum that gathers as a result of initiative is fair reward to those bold enough to act upon it.

Some of my clients have come to me feeling like their worlds were not under their own control. They felt as though everyone else ran their lives and had some aspect of control in everything that they did. I asked them to note some specific situations in which they felt this way and how they felt “out of control” of the situation. It’s interesting to note that in every circumstance, there was some aspect of “guilt” or “second-guessing” involved. Indeed, these are the purest signs of self-relinquished control.

There are many ways that people can feel “loss of control” in their lives. We can lose control through frustration and burn-out, living in a rut, stagnation, illness, change, and trauma. However, one of the most common is unconsciously giving up control to others. This is an unconscious act involving two or more parties where party “A” literally hands over the reins to party “B”.

At one time, “parental voices” controlled and molded our lives. These are the voices and rules provided by authority, family, and friends from whom our core belief systems evolved. However, some external influences and people can re-engage that basic instinct for seeking parental acceptance simply by imposing doubt into your world. By accepting the guilt or self-doubt imposed by others, you begin to live in someone else’s “context”. You surrender your own belief systems and adopt those of the other party. In doing so, you begin to live by the rules and controls of the other person.

One of the more common areas in which this occurs is in a professional or group setting where power and control are part of the environment. Many politically savvy individuals (“A”) will take control of others (“B”) simply by learning their ways, gaining their trust, and then embedding doubt or a feeling of non-acceptance. In this way, “A” is now subconsciously seen as the parental figure and “B” requires acceptance from “A”. “A” is now in control of “B”. Over time, “B” grows to feel animosity towards “A”, but is usually unsure why except for the fact that “B” doesn’t like the way that “A” treats them.

Once you fall into this situation, it is difficult to break free. You have to go through and undo the web of emotions and doubt that now clouds your thinking. However, you have to realize that it’s not so much how “A” treats you as it is how you feel about your view of their treatment. By separating your ego and emotions from the situation, you are better able to break free from the reins of self-relinquished control. But, it’s not so much that they have explicit control over you as it is that you are merely seeking their acceptance. It’s an interesting situation to observe!

The best way to prevent such situations from occurring is to go through your own psyche and find out which “parental voices” are still present and dislodge them. You need to replace the old, worn out parental triggers with your own rules for your evolving belief systems. Of course, we usually just leave these voices where they are out of comfort and because they seem to work. However, these are triggers that can be tripped to cause us to fall into this loss-of-control scenario.

I recall one young man who, once he finished college, simply hung out in a local pub. He could not figure out what to do with his life. His parents had passed on, he had no other relatives around, so he just “waited” for anyone and anything that tripped his triggers. Because of this, he ended up in trouble from time to time because he was easily misled by people who gave him what he wanted — acceptance and direction. After much work and planning, he began to move forward in his life and is slowly becoming a success in his own right. But, as you can see, these types of situations are very common and can occur just about anytime to anyone. I’ve also seen such issues occur with abused women, corporations, and myriad other inter-personal situations. People tend to sit and wait for acceptance and guidance from others because they relinquished control.

Live your own life by replacing these triggers with your own rules for living. You will never obtain acceptance from everyone as the rest of the world is out seeking acceptance as well. It’s a never-ending cycle! Learn to accept yourself as, in the long run, you are the only person who has a stake in your own decisions and endeavors for a self-fulfilling life.