IMPROVE YOUR LIFEHow To Improve Your Personal Life With Self-Improvement

I’m appreciating used things. I got a great gas barbecue on Freecycle; a practically new John Deere lawnmower for $50; a beautiful Le Creuset cast iron shelf from a friend’s basement, a lovely leather purse from the thrift shop. They feel like blessings. I get all the joy of something new plus an extra kick of getting it for nothing or practically so.

I’m typing this on a computer I bought used that’s sitting on a desk I got at a yard sale. Come to think of it, I also inherited this chair from some previous office and I’m drinking from a water bottle I’ve refilled a bunch of times.

Brand new, pristine, still in the wrapper has its appeal too of course. But throwing away perfectly good stuff bugs me. I wish it were easier to get something to a good home during that whirlwind of purging that comes upon us. I use all my energy cleaning out the junk room and have nothing left for separating the things for Goodwill from the load for the dump. At that point I want the detritus gone. Now.

I see that desire to be rid of the unwanted in my clients, and in myself. We want to be different, better, changed. And we want it now. A new job, a new body, a new relationship, a new way of living. I want what I don’t have, and what I have I don’t want.

There is no shortage of experts to tell us how to change. As a coach I probably fall into that category. But I don’t have a whizbang new approach-the Seven Steps to a whole new you. I believe you’re pretty darned fabulous exactly as you are and that all meaningful transformation starts with acceptance.

Accept yourself. Recycled advice? Yes. When you’re dissatisfied and stuck it can sound pretty useless. “Get me out of here!” You’d rather be any place else. But here and now is all there is. Loving and forgiving what is has got to be the first step.

Take a deep breath and bear with me for a moment here. You’re changing a state of mind.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Describe your current reality.

What’s really true? What’s not working? What is? What part do you want to make sure you keep in the future? What assumptions have you made that aren’t checked out? Whose definition of valuable are you using? What are the immediate challenges and which are more long term?

2. How is this working on your behalf?

Suspend disbelief for a moment and pretend that the aspect you want to change is actually serving you in some twisted way. For example, the asshole boss is creating the impetus for you to leave a job you should have left years ago; the health emergency is a wake up call; the break up is a clear decision when you were ambivalent. Put aside the unpleasant feelings for a moment and imagine a new way of looking at the same set of circumstances-a way in which you benefit instead of being a victim.

3. Forgive.
This can be a tough one, but it’s the most powerful. I’ve found that if I start where I am (unpleasant state-hurt, angry, etc) I can take baby steps that get me to real acceptance. Here’s a possible progression:
I forgive you for being a stupid jerk.
I forgive you for saying such an insensitive thing.
I forgive you for hurting my feelings.
I forgive you for not realizing that I was expecting you.
I forgive you for not reading my mind.
I forgive myself for expecting you to.
I forgive myself for overreacting.
I forgive myself for not saying what I want.
I forgive myself for not seeing my responsibility here.

It’s the acceptance, the ownership that gives you permission to let it go-whether we’re talking about anger or extra weight or a snakeskin vinyl raincoat. It’s not a question of judgment-keep the good and get rid of the bad. We’re a spectrum-a combination of choices that sometimes looks like a masterpiece and sometimes like mud. It’s not that red has no value. It just may not belong in your picture right now.

Maybe someone else can use it. That’s why we have consignment stores and Ebay.

In any industry you have to have a good head on your shoulders and be clear and focused on what you need to do. You can’t give up when the going gets tough and just think, oh well it was only a few hundred dollars or pounds? With that type of attitude you will go no where in life, you will end up a sad broke person. If you had just grown a pair… and not given up you would have surely made a success in life.

Read more from the original source:
Mindset – Mind Power and the Key to Winning

“The Success Principles – 64 timeless principles to be successful” “10 steps to overachieving in business and live” “The 7 habits of highly effective people” No wonder people are confused by the personal development industry. There are so many articles, books, recipies, …

Read the rest here:
One thing you simply must do

Read this article:
Personal Development Tools – Daily Gratitude & Happiness

www.morningcoach.com Personal development and self-help coach JB reviews the importance of daily gratitude in personal development. He also talks about the new tool in the morningcoach Personal evolutions system. – Understanding what you should be grateful for – Gratitude – How to start your day – Give thanks, metaphysically – Appreciating money You should be thankful for the ability to manifest anything you desire! With the personal development tool, you can start every day with a new slate of space to write in what your grateful for. Email us at info @ morningcoach.com Follow us on Twiter @morningcoach Subscribe to our videos on our youtube Channel www.youtube.com Be sure to check out our daily podcast about self improvement and personal development. We talk about this and other great self-improvement and personal development tactics, every day on our #1 podcast! Fifteen minutes of self-improvement to get you going in the morning. You can learn even more by subscribing to our podcast at www.morningcoach.com Enter “MIRACLE” for a free 7-day trial!

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, the holiday that has its origin in the Puritan’s tradition of giving thanks for a good harvest. The Puritans weren’t the first in this regard. Many religious and societal traditions are based in the concept of gratitude. What all these traditions may or may not have known is that recent scientific studies point to a direct link between gratitude and a deep satisfaction with life. Not only is it good to give thanks, it is good for you to do so!

In a study at the University of California at Davis, Professor Robert Emmons came up with some very interesting and illuminating results from his research project on gratitude and thankfulness. Professor Emmons found that people who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. In addition, participants who kept the journals were more likely to make progress towards their personal goals in life.

The study also notes that people with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. Grateful individuals place less importance on material goods; they are less likely to judge their own and others success in terms of possessions accumulated; they are less envious of wealthy persons; and are more likely to share their possessions with others relative to less grateful persons.

If the practice of gratitude is so beneficial to our overall well-being, how can we learn to cultivate it more? My gut feeling is that the type of gratitude we normally experience when we see others that are less fortunate than ourselves is not enough. If it were, we would all be much happier as we are surrounded by evidence of the suffering of so many people in the world today. It seems that we need to look directly at our own lives in order to be truly grateful and thereby reap the benefits of gratitude.

The concept of gratitude is directly related to the idea of the power of positive thinking. Concentrating on what we do have versus what we don’t have seems to be the key. Reminding ourselves on a daily basis of all the things that come our way keeps us grounded in gratitude instead of want. At any given moment during the day we can stop in the moment and be thankful. Keeping a record of these moments, journaling, is what Professor Emmons recommends. When life becomes overwhelming we can look back at our musings and see just how lucky we really are.

Indeed, further results of the University of California’s study show that a daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). There was no difference in levels of unpleasant emotions reported in the three groups.

As we are told not to sweat the small things so too can we be very grateful for the little joys in our lives. I just got back from running to school to drop-off something for my daughter. Upon entering the house, which is warm and toasty compared to the rainy, cold day outside, I was greeted by my three dogs with tons of kisses and love. They now lie by my feet as I type away. The house is peaceful and quiet like my own personal sanctuary. I glance out my windows and see nothing but the foliage that envelops my home. These are the little moments that that we can become attuned to in gratitude. There are hundreds of such moments in any given week if we are mindful of them. They add up and build upon one another to create a more centered, content and positive perspective on life.

Furthermore, the research reports that grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life. Again, my intuition tells me that given the perspective that gratitude gifts us, we are undoubtedly more equipped to handle life’s challenges. One’s attitude can determine how effective one is in coping with what life throws in our direction. Our perspective on life determines our reality. If we approach things with a perspective grounded in say the belief that life is unfair, everything that turns up will look unfair. But as we practice gratitude, we are endowed with its gifts of optimism and the necessary energy required to take on our lives.

How can you start to practice gratitude? Begin with the art of mindfulness, being totally present in the moment. Notice all the little things that surround you, things you might take for granted if you hadn’t stopped to really look. Offer acknowledgement of these small gifts much like my moment in a warm and peaceful home with my dogs. Write them down in a gratitude journal. The little things make up the fabric of our days, our months, and our years. Oftentimes we hardly notice them because we are so caught up in the task of living. As they say, stop and smell the roses.

Stop and consider what you have been given in life. Are you blessed with financial security? Do you have loving children, a supportive family? A nice home? Are you in good health? Do you enjoy your work? Do you have wonderful friends? What does nature give to you? Do you have a supportive and loving mate? Concentrate on what you do have and not what you lack.

Research also tells us that the act of giving back to the world has much the same effect as gratitude. Interestingly enough, Emmons study also found that participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another. The act of gratitude and the act of giving back therefore reinforce each other and lead to the inevitable ?more fulfilling, meaningful and happy lives.

These are things that we all know to be true in the abstract and yet we can take them from the abstract into the specifics of our own existence. Start practicing gratitude today. Pull out a notebook and write down just one thing. Commit to adding to this journal everyday. A good time might be before bedtime when you have time to reflect back on your day. Think of all the good things that occurred. Perhaps a brief but meaningful exchange with a child or a friend. Maybe a great cup of coffee. When you put down your pen and paper, you might just go to sleep easier. That’s yet something else for which to be grateful.